Have you ever felt that sometimes you just need time to re-examine some old thoughts and attitudes that you don't normally spend a lot of time thinking about? Well today, I am experiencing one of those days filled with moments of contemplation about my self worth. I don't know... I just have this feeling that something is not right. I have realized today that I have so many fears. And I know that I must work on them or else, I will go through life feeling unfulfilled and wanting.
Most of the things that limit me, I have realized today, are self-imposed. I feel that I am not good enough for any of these things that I am writing about. Whenever my family and friends require my attention, be it in the middle of the night or at the crack of dawn, I am always happy to be there for them and to do whatever I can for them... wholeheartedly.
But now I am thinking to myself that if I have wonderful notions of helping others, reaching out to others, writing and suggesting about awareness of inequality and fighting it, I must help myself first to get rid of these silly notions in my head that give me a feeling of being inadequate... of being not good enough.
Somehow I am in need of that special gift from the universe to light my way to my dreams... to rid of this feeling of inadequacy. Maybe I can still do it... if I would only try.
I dedicated these blog to my co-travelers in this mysterious journey...
- Marie Nell Bautista
- California, United States
- Hi, There! I hope you enjoy reading my website blogs. I really, really feel very humbled to share my thoughts with you. My goal is to write ideas on freedom, love, peace and compassion. If there is but one person who gets the depth and essence of the message of this website and my writings, perhaps my writings are not for naught. For preferences, I enjoy classical music, art, philosophy, and literature of all kinds, traveling around the world to see the changing scenarios and to simply enjoy life. I like learning different cultures and tasting various ethnic cuisines. These things, simple they may be, just like poetry, lift me up when my spirit is down in the dumps. I deeply believe in Our Awesome Creator, the Divine Power, the Higher Power of all the highest powers in the universe! Peace, Marie Nell
A single thought of gratitude raised to the heavens
is the most perfect prayer!
2 comments:
Wow! This post is both depressing and uplifting at the same time. Depressing because you fit the people I had described on my comment on you last post. Uplifting because you realized that. Always remember that the higher type of man seeks all that he desires in himself; the inferior type of man seeks all that he desires from others (this apply to women too, LOL). You don't look at the world around you and see it as it is, you see it as you as.
I think that everyone has feelings of inadequacy in some way, especially when it comes to the ones you love, because you want to be the best you can be for them. Recentley becoming a mother, I have found myself constantly worrying if I am good enough to be this little boys mom. He is so perfect and beautiful, and I don't in any way want to mess that up. Anyway, atleast you are recognizing your feelings, because that is the first step to changing them. The heavens don't have to open up for you to realize all you can to is be the best person, mother, friend, and family member that you can be, and feel good about that!
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